People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, someone that ticks all your boxes and that’s what everyone wants. But in reality a soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life in a positive way. A true soul mate is probably the most important none blood related person you’ll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. Soul mates come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you. Their purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master.
Love never dies a natural death, it dies because we don’t know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness, errors and betrayals. No relationship is perfect, ever. There are always some ways you have to bend, to compromise, to give something up in order to gain something greater….Love is a fire. But whether it is going to warm your heart or burn down your house, you can never tell. The best love is the kind that awakens the soul and makes us reach for more, that plants a fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. When it comes to love I don’t want the heavens or the shooting stars. I don’t want gemstones or gold. I have those things already. I want…a steady hand. A kind soul. I want to fall asleep, and wake up knowing my heart is safe. I want to love, and be loved unconditionally. I believe that very few times in your life, if you are one of the lucky ones, you might meet someone who is exactly right for you. Not because he’s perfect, or because you are, but because your combined flaws are arranged in a way that allows two separate beings to hinge together.
When love is not madness it is not love. lol ladies i’m not saying go and burn his car down. Not that kinda madness. Love is a temporary madness, it erupts like volcanoes and then subsides. And when it subsides, you have to make a decision. You have to work out whether your roots have so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever go separate ways. Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion, it is not the desire to do do freaky things to each other every second minute of the day, it is not lying awake at night imagining that he is kissing every cranny of your body. That is just being “in love”, which any fool can do. Love itself is what is left over when being in love has died down, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident. Sometimes love means letting go when you want to hold on tighter.
Love is a decision, it is a judgement, it is a promise. If love was just a feeling, there would be no basis for the promise to love each other forever. A feeling comes and it may go. How can I judge that it will stay forever when my act does not involve judgement and decision. You think because he doesn’t love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn’t want you anymore that he is right — that his judgement and opinions of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Love shouldn’t be like that. Have you ever seen the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle around it, sometimes you can’t even see the mountain because of the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? The head. The clouds never cover the head. It’s head pokes through, because the clouds let it; they don’t wrap it up, they let it keep it’s head up high, free, with nothing to hide it or bind him.
You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re handing over your whole life to him. Your whole life, sis. If it means so little to you that you can just give it away just like that, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself. We’re all seeking that special person who is right for us. But if you’ve been through enough relationships, you begin to suspect there’s no right person, just different flavours of wrong. Why is that? Because you yourself are wrong in some way, and you tend to always look for partners who are wrong in some complementary way.
It takes a lot of living to grow fully into your own wrongness. And it isn’t’t until you finally run up against your deepest demons, your unsolvable problems—the ones that make you truly who you are—that we’re ready to find a lifelong partner . Only then do you finally know what you’re looking for. You’re looking for the wrong person. But not just any wrong person: the right wrong person—someone you lovingly gaze upon and think, this is the problem I want to have. I have no doubt in my mind that you will find that special person who is wrong for you in just the right way. Let your scars fall in love. Letting go doesn’t mean that you don’t care about someone anymore. It’s just realizing that the only person you really have control over is yourself. Like William Shakespeare said “The course of true love never did run smooth.”